Paddy jokes

[Melanie]

Paddy and Molly have been at the bar all evening…

…and they decide it’s time to go home. So they get in the auto and start the drive home.



After a few miles, Paddy notices the garda’s lights flashing in his mirrors, and he pulls over. The warden walks up as Paddy rolls his window down, and the warden says, “Good evening, Paddy. Have ya had a good time tonight?”



Paddy, slurring a bit, says, “Yeah, I’d say I did alright!”



The warden continues, “Paddy, do ya realize, you’re lovely Molly fell out the door of the auto a few stops back?”



Paddy gasps, and says, “Thank goodness! I thought I’d gone deaf!”

[Melanie]

Paddy phones an ambulance because his mate's been hit by a car.

Paddy: 'Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and
Ears and I tink both his legs are broken.'
Operator: 'What is your location sir?'
Paddy: 'Outside number 28 Eucalyptus Street ....'
Operator: 'How do you spell that sir?'
Silence.... (heavy breathing) and after a minute.
Operator: 'Are you there sir?'
More heavy breathing and another minute later.
Operator: 'Sir, can you hear me?'
This goes on for another few minutes until....
Operator: 'Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?'
Paddy: 'Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell eucalyptus, so I just
dragged him round to number 3 Oak Street .'

[emily91]

Dec 17, 2023 6:34:57 GMT Melanie said:

Paddy phones an ambulance because his mate's been hit by a car.

Paddy : 'Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and
Ears and I tink both his legs are broken.'
Operator: 'What is your location sir?'
Paddy: 'Outside number 28 Eucalyptus Street ....'
Operator: 'How do you spell that sir?'
Silence.... (heavy breathing) and after a minute.
Operator: 'Are you there sir?'
More heavy breathing and another minute later.
Operator: 'Sir, can you hear me?'
This goes on for another few minutes until....
Operator: 'Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?'
Paddy: 'Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell eucalyptus, so I just
dragged him round to number 3 Oak Street .'

This is actually one of my favourite jokes of all time

so funny

[Paddy]

Dec 17, 2023 6:34:57 GMT Melanie said:

Paddy phones an ambulance because his mate's been hit by a car.

Paddy: 'Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and
Ears and I tink both his legs are broken.'
Operator: 'What is your location sir?'
Paddy: 'Outside number 28 Eucalyptus Street ....'
Operator: 'How do you spell that sir?'
Silence.... (heavy breathing) and after a minute.
Operator: 'Are you there sir?'
More heavy breathing and another minute later.
Operator: 'Sir, can you hear me?'
This goes on for another few minutes until....
Operator: 'Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?'
Paddy: 'Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell eucalyptus, so I just
dragged him round to number 3 Oak Street .'

Tbph that is something I'd actually do. Lol

[Melanie]

Paddy 

[Melanie]

Paddy OMG 

[Melanie]

Paddy 

[Melanie]

Paddy the Englishman, Paddy the Irishman and Paddy the Scotsman are arguing in a pub over who comes from the most respectable family.

Paddy the Englishman starts 'My uncle is a Bishop and when he walks down the street people address him as Your Grace'.

Paddy the Scotsman replies 'That's nothing, my uncle is a Cardinal and when he walks down the street people bow and address him as Your Eminence'

Finally Paddy the Irishman pipes up 'That's noting, my uncle weighs 32 stone and when he walks down the street people stare and exclaim JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY'

[Melanie]

Paddy's Slippers
Murphy calls in to see his mate Paddy, who has a broken leg.

Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?"

"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds.

"Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both."

"Fook off you liar!"

"Hold on - I'll prove it," Murphy says.

So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?"

"Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"

[Melanie]

Paddy