Post by Paul on Aug 20, 2004 16:49:27 GMT
Got this in an e-mail today
WOMEN'S NAMES
Ada - blue haired, smells of wee.
Aisha - laughs like a demented dog, likes tic tacs.
Alison - bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off.
Amanda - IQ tends to be smaller than bra size. Probably a good shag though.
Amy - devious, likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to be trusted.
Andrea - small breasts, drinks pints.
Angela - Vain, hairstyle more important than oxygen. Hangs around toilets.
Annabelle - doesn't wear knickers.
Annette - she's BIG.
Anne - looks like a horse, can't drive
Anoushka - eccentric taste in clothes, has a wild side.
Aoife - always up for shots in the bar and flashing her bra
Barbara - shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance.
Becky - Likes a good bit of rump, has lots of friends.
Belinda - pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.
Beryl - repressed alcoholic.
Beverley - trapped in an eighties timewarp.
Bianca - ginger.
Bridgette - eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.
Britney - falsely improved, no use to society.
Camilla -replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.
Carina - looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow.
Carol - into everything you've only ever read about. Coin-operated.
Caroline - into threesomes. Likes doggy style. Always up for it.
Catherine - attracted to the older man, needs ironing.
Claire - perfect in every way and a complete sex goddess.
Celine - emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.
Charlotte - enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.
Cheryl - can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.
Christine - likes men in uniform, never warm.
Daisy - virgin.
Danni - should make nice threesome with sibling.
Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.
Dawn - gets up early, smells of chips.
Deborah - bites the pillow, uses both hands.
DeeDee - cannot understand why no one else masturbates in Ikea.
Denise - sits on cat's eyes, wears too much make up.
Diane - enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle. Adds nothing to society.
Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.
Doris - purple haired, stinks of wee.
Elaine - rides sidesaddle, drinks meths.
Elizabeth - born to perform, hates chickens.
Ellie - far too attractive for the swear words that come out of her mouth.
Emily - wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.
Emma - gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!
Estelle - likes wombles, eats grass.
Esther - plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.
Faith - legs meet at knees, can't shag standing up.
Faye - wears wellies, can't swim.
Felicity - she'll stab you with her nipples, plays darts
Fiona - female mud wrestler, gives head.
Gail - farts a lot, drinks Guinness.
Gabriella - classy name for a classy lady
Gayleen - big tall woman who talks shite all day.
Gaynor - lesbian.
Gemma - practically perfect in everyway. Loved by everyone. Good listener and friend.
Geraldine - too posh for her own good, likes flying.
Gillian - dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.
Gina - eternal mother, eats nappies.
Glenda - eats children, hates smoking.
Georgina - wants to be a man.
Gwyneth - blubs a lot, wees in the bath.
Hannah - needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.
Heather - shags like a freight train, a screamer.
Helen - loves sleeping and alcohol and is work shy.
Heidi - the hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gherkins.
Hilary - frigid bitch. Thinks money grows on trees.
Holly - prickly to the touch, seasonal shagmeister.
Imogen - drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.
Ingrid - right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.
Jackie - heroin addict, sold her child.
Janet - soft, warm and really cuddly. Good shag.
Jane - enjoys wanking men (or women).
Janine - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world
Jasmin - smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.
Jemma - does anal, wears too much eye make-up.
Jennifer - huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.
Jessica - virgin, always will be.
Jo - cold-hearted bitch, sleeps with other people's boyfriends
Joanne - moans in her sleep, cant cook, moans when she wakes up!
Jodie - absolutely perfect in every way, every group of friends should have one!
Judith - big eyes, big tits.
Judy - huge tits, married to an arse.
Julia - innocent face, don't trust her, she'll steal your wallet in five minutes.
Justine - massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets.
Julie - jabba the Hutt's sister, constantly pregnant.
Karen - huge tits, shags like a rabbit.
Katie - big feet, shags men over 50.
Kate - talks complete bollocks all the time, scavenger.
Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.
Kerry - an all round popular girl who is loved by all who know her, has other attributes not known by many.
Kirsty - eats live moles, sexy body but can't dance.
Krystyna - beautiful in mind and body
Kylie - can't sing but who cares.
Lana - hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.o
Lara - action packed, never seen naked.
Laura - likes Max power magazine, can't drive.
Lauren - pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.
Leah - likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.
Lena - eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking.
Leslie - likes bondage, hates men.
Linda - perfect in every way - a complete sex goddess.
Lindsay - likes doggy style, doesn't do housework.
Lisa - will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn.
Liz - long legged and brainey.
Lorraine - constantly whinges, will strip for a packet of jellybabies.
Louise - real babe, bright too, I'd drink her bath water.
Lucy - strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.
Madeline - drives like a bloke, likes tractors.
Maggie - trainspotter, likes plaid.
Margaret - lovely mother, very generous.
Maria - bangs like a barn door.
Marie - life's slapper. Likes men to do DIY.
Marina - no get up and go, rusty underwear.
Marilyn - eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.
Martina - ugly lesbian.
Martine - can't act, can't sing, nice tits.
Matilda - likes dancing, mainly the waltz.
Meg - cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S.
Melanie - can hold two bar vacuum orally indefinitely.
Melissa - eats dogs, been in prison 6 times for burglary.
Meryl - dances like an ape, doesn't realise.
Michaela - likes animals, should make a video with them.
Michelle - wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag.
Miriam - goes down a lot, often gets sore throats
Marsha - big butt, small brain.
Monica - doesn't swallow, should have.
Naomi - wannabe diva, more of a diver.
Nancy - white hair, remembers manners.
Natalie - eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.
Natasha - had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.
Nell - hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.
Nicola - slapper, alcoholic in denial.
Nina - stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.
Olga - you can park a bike in her arsecrack, excessive facial hair.
Olivia - neutron bomb.
Pamela - gives amazing head, made of plastic.
Pat - forest forager, likes wild boar.
Paula - transvestite merchant banker from Basildon.
Penelope - pit stop queen, likes men to be stiff.
Phillippa - butt ugly lesbian.
Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.
Rachel - amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her arsecheeks.
Rebecca - hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
Rita - popular with all the guys but still searching for that special someone
Rosie - can be prickly, good head-giver.
Rula - she measures up well.
Sadie - stand up if you're slim, please stand up.
Sally - drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.
Samantha - loves her brother, has four deformed children.
Sandra - shags donkeys for fun, bow legged.
Sarah - hangs around with the wrong crowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn.
Selina - doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills.
Sharon - shags like a locomotive, yo-yo knickers.
Shirley - can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.
Sian - does mean sheep impression, hates mint sauce.
Simone - used to be a shot putter from Cardiff.
Sonya - dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a carrier.
Sophie - brothel madam, wears a wrinkly corset.
Stacey - likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo's.
Steffi - closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for effect.
Stephanie - eats Muppets, wears Brogues.
Sue - totally gorgeous!
Tanya - hot minx, too short.
Tara - upper class slapper, needs extra chemicals.
Tina - face like a smacked arse, should eat less.
Tori - lives in a hedge, can't water ski.
Tracy - easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear. Loves kittens.
Tracey - lesbian.
Ursula - likes puppies, in curry.
Vicky- likes Yoga and Men.
Wendy - possibly a man.
Zoe - talentless rock chick
WOMEN'S NAMES
Ada - blue haired, smells of wee.
Aisha - laughs like a demented dog, likes tic tacs.
Alison - bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off.
Amanda - IQ tends to be smaller than bra size. Probably a good shag though.
Amy - devious, likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to be trusted.
Andrea - small breasts, drinks pints.
Angela - Vain, hairstyle more important than oxygen. Hangs around toilets.
Annabelle - doesn't wear knickers.
Annette - she's BIG.
Anne - looks like a horse, can't drive
Anoushka - eccentric taste in clothes, has a wild side.
Aoife - always up for shots in the bar and flashing her bra
Barbara - shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance.
Becky - Likes a good bit of rump, has lots of friends.
Belinda - pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.
Beryl - repressed alcoholic.
Beverley - trapped in an eighties timewarp.
Bianca - ginger.
Bridgette - eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.
Britney - falsely improved, no use to society.
Camilla -replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.
Carina - looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow.
Carol - into everything you've only ever read about. Coin-operated.
Caroline - into threesomes. Likes doggy style. Always up for it.
Catherine - attracted to the older man, needs ironing.
Claire - perfect in every way and a complete sex goddess.
Celine - emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.
Charlotte - enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.
Cheryl - can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.
Christine - likes men in uniform, never warm.
Daisy - virgin.
Danni - should make nice threesome with sibling.
Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.
Dawn - gets up early, smells of chips.
Deborah - bites the pillow, uses both hands.
DeeDee - cannot understand why no one else masturbates in Ikea.
Denise - sits on cat's eyes, wears too much make up.
Diane - enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle. Adds nothing to society.
Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.
Doris - purple haired, stinks of wee.
Elaine - rides sidesaddle, drinks meths.
Elizabeth - born to perform, hates chickens.
Ellie - far too attractive for the swear words that come out of her mouth.
Emily - wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.
Emma - gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!
Estelle - likes wombles, eats grass.
Esther - plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.
Faith - legs meet at knees, can't shag standing up.
Faye - wears wellies, can't swim.
Felicity - she'll stab you with her nipples, plays darts
Fiona - female mud wrestler, gives head.
Gail - farts a lot, drinks Guinness.
Gabriella - classy name for a classy lady
Gayleen - big tall woman who talks shite all day.
Gaynor - lesbian.
Gemma - practically perfect in everyway. Loved by everyone. Good listener and friend.
Geraldine - too posh for her own good, likes flying.
Gillian - dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.
Gina - eternal mother, eats nappies.
Glenda - eats children, hates smoking.
Georgina - wants to be a man.
Gwyneth - blubs a lot, wees in the bath.
Hannah - needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.
Heather - shags like a freight train, a screamer.
Helen - loves sleeping and alcohol and is work shy.
Heidi - the hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gherkins.
Hilary - frigid bitch. Thinks money grows on trees.
Holly - prickly to the touch, seasonal shagmeister.
Imogen - drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.
Ingrid - right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.
Jackie - heroin addict, sold her child.
Janet - soft, warm and really cuddly. Good shag.
Jane - enjoys wanking men (or women).
Janine - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world
Jasmin - smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.
Jemma - does anal, wears too much eye make-up.
Jennifer - huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.
Jessica - virgin, always will be.
Jo - cold-hearted bitch, sleeps with other people's boyfriends
Joanne - moans in her sleep, cant cook, moans when she wakes up!
Jodie - absolutely perfect in every way, every group of friends should have one!
Judith - big eyes, big tits.
Judy - huge tits, married to an arse.
Julia - innocent face, don't trust her, she'll steal your wallet in five minutes.
Justine - massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets.
Julie - jabba the Hutt's sister, constantly pregnant.
Karen - huge tits, shags like a rabbit.
Katie - big feet, shags men over 50.
Kate - talks complete bollocks all the time, scavenger.
Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.
Kerry - an all round popular girl who is loved by all who know her, has other attributes not known by many.
Kirsty - eats live moles, sexy body but can't dance.
Krystyna - beautiful in mind and body
Kylie - can't sing but who cares.
Lana - hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.o
Lara - action packed, never seen naked.
Laura - likes Max power magazine, can't drive.
Lauren - pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.
Leah - likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.
Lena - eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking.
Leslie - likes bondage, hates men.
Linda - perfect in every way - a complete sex goddess.
Lindsay - likes doggy style, doesn't do housework.
Lisa - will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn.
Liz - long legged and brainey.
Lorraine - constantly whinges, will strip for a packet of jellybabies.
Louise - real babe, bright too, I'd drink her bath water.
Lucy - strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.
Madeline - drives like a bloke, likes tractors.
Maggie - trainspotter, likes plaid.
Margaret - lovely mother, very generous.
Maria - bangs like a barn door.
Marie - life's slapper. Likes men to do DIY.
Marina - no get up and go, rusty underwear.
Marilyn - eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.
Martina - ugly lesbian.
Martine - can't act, can't sing, nice tits.
Matilda - likes dancing, mainly the waltz.
Meg - cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S.
Melanie - can hold two bar vacuum orally indefinitely.
Melissa - eats dogs, been in prison 6 times for burglary.
Meryl - dances like an ape, doesn't realise.
Michaela - likes animals, should make a video with them.
Michelle - wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag.
Miriam - goes down a lot, often gets sore throats
Marsha - big butt, small brain.
Monica - doesn't swallow, should have.
Naomi - wannabe diva, more of a diver.
Nancy - white hair, remembers manners.
Natalie - eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.
Natasha - had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.
Nell - hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.
Nicola - slapper, alcoholic in denial.
Nina - stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.
Olga - you can park a bike in her arsecrack, excessive facial hair.
Olivia - neutron bomb.
Pamela - gives amazing head, made of plastic.
Pat - forest forager, likes wild boar.
Paula - transvestite merchant banker from Basildon.
Penelope - pit stop queen, likes men to be stiff.
Phillippa - butt ugly lesbian.
Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.
Rachel - amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her arsecheeks.
Rebecca - hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
Rita - popular with all the guys but still searching for that special someone
Rosie - can be prickly, good head-giver.
Rula - she measures up well.
Sadie - stand up if you're slim, please stand up.
Sally - drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.
Samantha - loves her brother, has four deformed children.
Sandra - shags donkeys for fun, bow legged.
Sarah - hangs around with the wrong crowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn.
Selina - doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills.
Sharon - shags like a locomotive, yo-yo knickers.
Shirley - can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.
Sian - does mean sheep impression, hates mint sauce.
Simone - used to be a shot putter from Cardiff.
Sonya - dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a carrier.
Sophie - brothel madam, wears a wrinkly corset.
Stacey - likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo's.
Steffi - closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for effect.
Stephanie - eats Muppets, wears Brogues.
Sue - totally gorgeous!
Tanya - hot minx, too short.
Tara - upper class slapper, needs extra chemicals.
Tina - face like a smacked arse, should eat less.
Tori - lives in a hedge, can't water ski.
Tracy - easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear. Loves kittens.
Tracey - lesbian.
Ursula - likes puppies, in curry.
Vicky- likes Yoga and Men.
Wendy - possibly a man.
Zoe - talentless rock chick